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Trail Running Partner I'm looking for a female running partner. No dating. Just running.

That's it. Women are preferable to men as exercise partners for a number of reasons: They're not gay. They smell good. They don't engage in cock-waving contests. Why go on a run with me? Running with me is safer than any Where to fuck guys in Laramie Wyoming activity you could possibly engage in, including hiding under your couch surrounded by trained attack cats.

The Seattle Times ranked running with me as one of the top ten ways to improve your and Whdre your rates.

I can wildincluding bears, owls and foxes. I can identify all poisonous,and edible plants within the state of Washington.

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I can see in the dark, and navigate by internally sensing the polarity of the Earth's magnetic field. You're guaranteed to survive a run with me, or your money back.

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I also happen to be a former college track and expert running coach, so not only will you survive, you'll probably become a better runner as well. How do you qualify for this amazing offer?

You must meet the following criteria: You are already legitimately fit. Not "getting back into shape". Not "trying to lose weight". At a minimum, you can run at 9 min. You typiy show up on time, and don't cancel on people at the last minute. You don't whine about the weather.

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You want to have fun and explore new places. Running with me, you are guaranteed to see some of the most amazing things, that you will only see running with me.

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I make generalizations about people based on their appearance, so in your application, please describe the following: Age 2. Height 3.

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Weight 4. Hair color and length 5.

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Number of tattoos, and any piercings other than ears 6. Your favorite running trail s in Washington 7. Lqramie fast you can run aall out estimating is okay 7.

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Something that you like to do besides run Feel free to ask anything you want about me, and if you provide Lara,ieI will as well. If you have scrolled all the way down to read this sentence, policy requires that you now submit an application to me with all the aforementioned details.

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